It might seem harmless at first, but it could result in major trust issues for your team.
Vent session. Blowing off steam. *Whatever you want to call it* has to look different when you are the leader.
I once worked with a leader who was frustrated with their direct report. They both worked differently, and it was causing major tension between them.
The leader became so frustrated that he ended up venting his frustration about that employee with virtually everyone who would listen within the organization – everyone except that direct report that is.
These seemingly harmless vent sessions got back to that employee. And, you can imagine how that employee felt when they found out they were being complained about behind their back.
The culture these seemingly harmless “vent sessions” created was toxic. Major trust issues continued to erupt throughout the organization. And it all started from the top.
The Problem
The problem isn’t in venting exactly. Venting can be helpful sometimes (if it’s kept to a minimum and moves you to a place where you can problem solve).
The problem – when you’re a leader – is *who* you’re venting to.
When you’re a leader, you set the tone of the culture, and role model what is accepted behavior in your workplace.
If you gossip and regularly talk negatively about other employees when they’re not around, you are showing your employees that complaining is valued more than problem-solving.
Not only that, but regular gossip and complaining leads to decline in team trust. How can your team trust each other if all they ever do is talk negatively about each other?
Bottomline: When you openly vent, you create a toxic work environment, which then leads to a decrease in trust, employees not feeling valued, and engagement and productivity going down.
The Solution
If you want to be an effective leader who manages a high performing team, you must find trusted people who you can talk to confidentially. Being selective is key here.
These trusted people may include:
✔️ The Human Resources professional within your organization
✔️ Peers outside of your organization who do not interact in any way with the person you’re venting about
✔️ Your direct supervisor
These trusted people do NOT include:
❌ Other direct reports on your team
❌ Coworkers on other teams
❌ Anyone you run into in the breakroom
When selecting a good trusted outlet, you must also look for people who will guide you toward solutions.
Vent sessions exclusively are not productive. Sure, initially at the start of your conversation it is okay to vocalize your frustration and release it, but you can’t get stuck here.
When you pick your trusted outlet, ensure that that person is someone who can confidentially listen to your vent, but will also be a good guide.
Work tensions are normal. Many different people who operate with different work styles are typically on the same team.
It’s your responsibility to model healthy communication for your team. As the leader, your job is to find trusted people who help you brainstorm solutions so that you can bring those back to your team and guide them effectively.
This factor is a huge reason why I also work with multiple coaches myself. I’ve found the best way to be successful and effective as a leader of my team and a coach to others is to have trusted outlets who can provide me with proven insight to my leadership challenges.
Having a coach who I can call to walk through challenging scenarios and receive valuable feedback means that I can spend less time frustrated and more time leading my team well and positively supporting our clients in achieving their goals.
Next Steps
When you read through these lists did potential trusted outlets come to mind? If yes, call them! Tell them you appreciate having them in your corner, and if you have a leadership challenge that is weighing you down, ask if they have time to brainstorm solutions with you.
If no one comes to mind, it’s time to prioritize finding trusted people who can help you be successful as a leader. Spend time cultivating relationships with peers outside of your organization who you see leading their teams well. Look into hiring a leadership coach.
Being a leader can be isolating. When you become a leader, you have elevated responsibility and are held to a higher standard. It might not seem fair at times, but if you’re a leader, you have to accept that as a part of your role.
But, you shouldn’t do it alone. Work challenges will happen. You will encounter situations where you will want to vent. The best way to move forward successfully is to ensure you have trusted outlets who you can talk with when these challenges come up.
Need help finding a trusted outlet? Email solutions@theworksconsulting.com.
